I remember my first family constellations session as if it was yesterday even if in reality it’s been more than 15 years since. I am now a family constellations facilitator and I have experienced probably hundreds of sessions, yet that first one sticks.
I had heard of this method from my sister and I felt so intrigued and mistrusting at the same time that I needed to experience it on my own in order to discard the possibility of my sister having gone crazy.
The whole concept of a gathering of people that work
together for the healing of one of them (the client) was totally new to me.
Another thing that was intriguing and almost unbelievable was that a member of the client’s family could be accurately represented by a random member of the group who knew nothing of the person they were representing.
If you have never experienced a session of Family Constellations,
you might be as confused as I was regarding the method. So, I will give you a
bit of background further in this article.
A method that changed my life
But before that, I want to make clear one thing: I owe this method everything. And when I say everything I mean the difference between being anxious and depleted of energy all the time to being able to share with other people the joy of life.
The old me would have never been able to actively contribute to a project like Conscious Crete. There was just not enough energy for that.
Better said, there was energy but just like for most of us, it was trapped in subconscious processes linked to supressing old unprocessed wounds.
Using the Family Constellations method, I found out how many of my defective patterns of behaviour did not even belong to me but they had been passed from generation to generation.
I was carrying the grief of my mother and of her mother and of a lineage of women that had lived before me.
Unlike talk therapy, this method goes to the core of the problem, deeper than our analytical mind can normally reach and that is what makes it so healing and so mysterious at the same time.
Ingredients of a Family Constellations Session
In order to have a successful Family Constellation you need to have a Client, a group, a clear intention about what you want to achieve and a skilled facilitator to guide you into it.
The Client
Any therapy session (group or individual) would have no
meaning if there was not a Client - the person who is seeking to heal an issue
in their life.
It can be anything:
- - Relational issues (with a member of the family
or with the partner or looking for a new relationship)
- - Health troubles
- - Experiencing anxiety, stress and depression
- - Feeling blocked on their professional path
- - Money issues
The Client is invited to share with the group the issue they
wish to address in the session. While the Client speaks the whole group is
listening compassionately without giving any advice, only taking in the story.
It is a non-judgemental
space, the client’s story is received with love and understanding. Many times
people in the group resonate with the story of the client. There is a magic in
this too!
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The group is formed of random people who expressed their
wish to partake in a Family Constellations Workshop and most of the time do not
know each other or the client.
Once the Client finishes sharing, I ask the group to share where
they resonate with the Client’s story. The resonances are often so deep that
one can only be humbled by the power of the universe to put together people who
are able to heal each other at such a deep level.
That is why in a Family Constellation session every
participant finds healing even if they are not necessary the Client.
The Intention
The next step in a Family Constellation is to clarify the
intention of the session. Many times the Client knows what bothers them or what
they do not want to have in their life anymore. It is more difficult to say
what is they would like to have instead.
In Family Constellations we work at the level of the
subconscious mind which functions with positive information. So the intention
is the positive outcome that the Client is hoping to get out of the session.
The Roles
Once the intention is clarified, we chose with the help of
the Client and the Group a number a key words that will be represented by the
group.
The key word can be a person (e.g. a member of the client’s family
or even the client himself at a different age), it can be a resource (something
that gives energy to the client: e.g. nature, love, Crete, etc) or even the
problem itself (e.g. the blockage, shame, guilt, etc).
The Client choses a representative for each key word.
The Field
Once the roles allocated the representatives are invited to
find a comfortable place in the room. Many times the representatives realise
that out of a sudden they have an affinity for a particular member of the group
and that they feel repulsion towards others.
This is the magic of the field.
The representatives are able to express the energy of the
client without knowing anything about him.
It is as if the Client’s subconscious mind grabs the opportunity
at offer to express something deeper which needed for the healing of the Client.
The Facilitator
The facilitator intervenes at every moment of the session to
support the Client to share his story, to clarify his intention and to chose
the key words.
The facilitator knows how to read the messages that are
being illustrated by the representatives, to read the field and to support the
participants through the whole process.
I become a family Constellations facilitator because this method gave me my life back. When I went to my first session I had no clue that I even needed healing.
It is an honour and a privilege to support people on their own way to a fulfilled life. Should you be on that path, I can promise this methods delivers more than you would imagine to ask for.
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