Joy, tears, more tears, a lot more tears, joy again and inner peace after removing sadness, burden and responsibilities that were never mine.
This is the story of a surprise gift received in the form of an online Family Constellation and the impressive healing it brought to me.
The way it all materialised for me is a great example of what you might consider to be coincidence or synchronicity as it happened just two days after I heard about this method.
The Orders
Family Constellation facilitators understand certain important ‘orders’ and assist their clients to deal with them accordingly. Within a family, there is an appropriate place for everyone. For example, ‘parents are “big”, children are “small”.’
There could be disharmony or imbalance if these orders are not followed by
family members. Some people might experience emotional issues or even
illnesses.
Having a Chinese background, this concept is not new for me because the ranking system as I like to call it is greatly valued and reinforced by senior members of the families.
Up to this point, I thought I
knew it all and had it all sorted! (Not really… knowing a concept doesn’t mean
one manages to apply it both consciously and subconsciously.) But then I got a
chill all over when I got this next rule:
“Everybody in a family belongs to the family –
nobody should be excluded.”
My grandparents who never existed
Mentally I went over all my family members and sort
of expanded the circle to include uncles, aunties and cousins and thought all
was good, everyone was there but something just didn’t seem right… Oh! I have a
set of grandparents who never existed!
The only thing I knew about my grandparents of my father’s side was that they died long ago when my father’s younger sister was 5 years old. My father doesn’t remember his age, nor his parents’ names.
As far as I remember, my grandparents or the lack of them were only mentioned a handful of times and my father always said he didn’t remember anything.
Last year, I persisted with him to hopefully find out more and he said, ‘There is nothing to remember.’ I wonder if he really doesn’t recall anything or if he prefers not to talk about it.
So I searched to heal this issue in my family, to reintegrate this pair of grandparents that have been excluded from the family system? or just forgotten?
‘The Knowing Field’
No matter what method of family constellations you use (in group or individual - as in my case) you are invited to chose representatives for your family members and the issue at hand.
When you are in a group, the members of the group are invited to represent the family while individually you can work with different objects (like crystals, little figurines, or even writing the names on post its)
The space where the family representatives are placed is referred to as ‘The Knowing Field’. My understanding is that the facilitator and the client’s intention of achieving harmony for the family allows helpful information and knowledge to come forth.
For a Family Constellation Group Session, the client would choose other participants as the family representatives and they would tap into the energy of the real family members and receive information in ways similar to what I described above.
Once given the role, people might start crying or laughing uncontrollably and a lot of other things start unfolding as if in a theatre play.
I think this is the reason that some people think it is a dangerous method. I don’t think there is any danger though because only information that is important for the intention would come forth and only for the duration of the session.
The facilitators all have a minimum of two years’ training and are well prepared to provide a safe space for the clients and all participants.
Our ancestors are always there to protect and guide us as well.
A glimpse of my Individual Family Constellation Session
I cannot tell you everything about this session because firstly, you will be bored! It only lasted about an hour but it provided me with a lot of information and insight, much more than could be conveyed in words because sometimes my whole being or parts of my body received healing or knowingness that bypassed my brain.
Secondly, the session involves
my family and it would be wrong of me to talk about the parts that involve
them. Let me give you some highlights so you can have a glimpse of what a
Family Constellation session is like.
· I saw myself being confused about what to do with
my parents, if I have done enough to help them and what else I could do for
them. I realized that it wasn’t my place to sort out problems for anyone and
that by being as joyful as I could be, I bring joy to my parents and that is
enough. The rest, it is all taken care of by my grandparents from the other
side of the veil.
· The moment the facilitator asked me to choose a crystal to
represent my grandfather, two crystals appeared in my mind and they were side
by side in the corner of the box where I kept all the crystals. Shortly after I
took out the white one that represented my grandfather, I asked her if I could
bring out the pink one that represented my grandmother because I felt they
wanted to be together. She gave me the go ahead and I placed the pink one snuggly
beside the white one, just like how they were in the box. She said gently,
‘See how your grandfather and your grandmother are always together.’ I observed
for a while and this calmness washed over me – it doesn’t matter what exactly
had happened to them because they are always together and all is good.
· The facilitator guided me to observe the white crystal to see
what information I could obtain regarding my grandfather. I broke into
uncontrollable joyful laughter and I announced to her, ‘My grandfather is a
really nice guy!’ I don’t know how I knew but I’ve never been so sure of
anything else in my whole life. I laughed some more while my whole body was
buzzing with joy.
· At the end of the session, the facilitator asked me to place
my hand on top of all the crystal representatives. I felt this subtle loving
energy travelled up my arm onto my whole body, as if I was being cleansed from
head to toes and the session was completed leaving me feeling loved. The facilitator asked
me to take a photo of the crystal formation and I can feel the love as I look
at the photo even now.
Learn and be patient!
The facilitator said that this session was only a start and
she suggested that we would let the energy settle and have our next session in
3 to 4 weeks’ time. Oh! I want my next session now! However, it is known about this method that instead of wanting another session right away it is wiser to wait and
learn from the one session first because there is always a lot there to learn
from. And I think this is true.
I imagine that every Family
Constellation session is different, based on the clients’ background, the focus
for the session as well as the facilitator’s style. My intention in sharing
with you about my own session in details is so that you have an idea about what
it is good for and that it is safe. For the most favourable outcome, it’s
always best to leave your expectation of how your session would unfold and let
the facilitator guides you. Your facilitator always has your best interest at
hearts.
Who is speaking?
I am Stephanie, I love my dog, my husband and I enjoy meeting new people. I ma currently learning to put myself first. I enjoy blogging my Greek adventures and various other topics because, why not? Where else would you cliché yourself into a writer if not on a Greek island?
My Newsletter is published according to the Chinese Calendar. Yes, you guessed it, I am Chinese, from Hong Kong and I speaks Cantonese. 石 is my last name and it means Rock or Stone. May that be the first Chinese character you learn to draw!
You can find out more about me on the website: thelovingenergy.com
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