A true story about healing the inner child
Once upon a time, because that's how all fairy tales begin,
there was a little girl sitting on a green carpet.
A little girl not much different from any other little girls
in the world. Her black hair curled over her big hazel eyes.
However, the little girl sitting on the green carpet was
sad. And maybe this made her a bit different from at least some of the little
girls out there because even in a world that did not turn out to be perfect
like ours, maybe, there are still happy little girls to be found.
But the source of her sadness was unclear even to her.
Maybe it was because of the brown that blended into the
green of the carpet in bizarre patterns.
Maybe because of the strange stare of the little teddy bear
wearing a fancy red hat.
Or maybe because of the monsters…the monsters hiding piled
on top of each other in the wardrobes from her mother's room, or those infesting the neatly arranged drawers
or hidden under the couch for lack of a better place...
Maybe our little girl would have managed to cope despite the
obvious difficulties if at least the dolls had remained faithful to her.
Instead, Silvia, the silver-haired doll she had inherited
without clothes from an older cousin, stubbornly refused to come to life,
despite her fervent pleas and solemn promises to eat breakfast at least for a
few days in a row.
If only the adults knew the hidden tragedies that poor
little girls are living while sitting politely on their green carpets, they
would certainly be affected as by the most tragic and serious event...
But what do the adults know?
They are busy with their worries, with their struggles and with the 5 o'clock news…for them, the wardrobes hide only cloths bought during the last season’s sales and…childhood memories deeply buried in the hope to never find them again.
For them, childhood is the symbol of a life without worries...because
after all, what worries does a child have? They would know if it was otherwise
as, after all, they have been children once too. Haven’t they?
And if they could remember much from that time, it would certainly
only events full of childlike joy and charm.
But the truth is that adults have forgotten what is like to
be a child and especially they have forgot about the little girls (or little
boys) sitting on the green carpets hidden in their souls.
We keep telling ourselves that childhood was this wonderful period, full
of love and light, so much so that we all hurried to get rid of it like the
plague.
And to make sure that
it will never catch up with us again with its charm she seductively, we slammed
the door shut and buried the key deep under the fog of oblivion.
Oh, but if it were so simple to run away from ourselves, to
exile ourselves, to deny ourselves and on top of it to keep the spontaneity and
freshness of a childlike existence!
But that is
impossible, so we've all become RESPECTABLE and SERIOUS adults, HYPERSENSITIVE
to loud noises and inexplicably irritable by the slightest symptom of
childhood.
But how could it be otherwise when every gesture, every
childish laughter reminds us painfully of the little girl on the green carpet,
of the way we betrayed her, of how we left her prey to the monsters in the
drawers and cowardly ran away.
However, we didn't get very far, we carried her deep within
through crowded city trams, to studies and later in the safe space of our new
families. The little girl on the green carpet stayed there, lonely, patient and
sad waiting for a day to come when we remember her.
I met her after a long time on a hot summer afternoon.
I expected her to scold me, or worse to reject me for my
unforgivable treachery…and yet she received me gently, crying because of all
the unsmoothed terrors of childhood…sad and forsaken…
I did not know how to approach her…her pain filled my heart
with infinite compassion for her story which happened to be mine too, for the
impossibility of denying the painful truths of the past and the frustration of not
being able of changing anything that was.
I cried sitting on
the green carpet of my childhood not knowing how I could ever make up for her,
how I could reconcile her and take her with me.
Us adults...what do we know about life, what do we know
about happiness? All we know is how to build beautifully whitewashed facades
and post on Facebook evidence of our socially desirable joy.
But what do we know
about the simple happiness of a child's heart?
The little girl on the green carpet didn't ask me what job I
ended up with, or how much money I make, or even where I spend my summer
vacation...all she asked for as a pledge of my devotion was a white spotted kitten
with blue eyes like the sky, small and fluffy, symbol of all the dreamed and
unfulfilled desires of her child soul.
If you ever happen to meet the little girl on the green
carpet, don't be afraid of her, don't avoid her, sit silently by her side and
listen, through tears she whispers your way back to happiness!
Who Is Speaking?
I am Dana Haridasi ILIESCU - by now most of you know me as the main 'agitator' behind the Conscious Crete Movement. I am the organiser of most of the events and also the first blessed participant to them. I am also the editor of the Conscious Crete Newsletter.
I am a stress management coach, inner child therapist, family constellations facilitator and artist among many others. I used to be a climate policy maker and international negotiator before life showed me that it had different plans for me.
If you would like to know all my story and my methods check me out at www.dana-iliescu.com.
If you are interested in experiencing a family constellation, check out the schedule of events here.
Comments
Post a Comment